Hey, dipwad. You’ve been nagging me for a report for days now, so here it is.
1.00: After the attack on the flotilla, sensors picked up evidence of a large cylindrical object. Determined to be an abandoned cylinder hab. Mesh chatter speculated it may be an old Jovian platform. You know the one, and if you don’t, see report JL149.0013. Idiot.
Influential bartender Donal Logue lobbied for an investigation of the cylinder, eventually persuading the pilot and trader Miley Rome to take him and some others to the cylinder. Team included red-market psychosurgeon Dimble, jammer Rudyard, and shitkickers including Eddie. I kid you not, they call themselves shitkickers. Some vigilante force. Shitkickers, seriously. I love these guys. ’Cept that douchetard Eddie.
Exploratory team entered the cylinder, which tripped security in the form of plasma drones. Party disposed of drones with near full-casualties. Bahahah.
2.00: Exploratory team explores the cylinder, surmises that primary function was as a military training facility. No signs of life, though hab did not appear to be evacuated. Directed by low-rep profile to investigate particular warehouse with little justification. Found research lab, classified documents pertaining to some sort of prisoner. Found heavily isolated cell with primitive LED communication mode. Subject Dimble voiced concerns about visual infection protocols. Gonna have to watch this one.
Team interacted with ‘prisoner’ – supposedly “Samuel L Jackson”.
3.00: After interaction with prisoner and review of classified documents, exploratory team surmised that prisoner was too dangerous to release. They pulled entire cell free, containing a cyberbrain attached to communication relay. Cyberbrain inside cell was terminated using liquid thermite and disassembler nanoswarms. These guys don’t fuck around, do they? Exploratory team swayed Flotilla vote towards settling the cylinder. Started airproofing buildings. In doing so, found research lab containing robotic shell thought to be similar to TITAN headhunter hardware.
4.00: Shitkicker Benedict Lestrange finds report on strange spiral pattern occurring in isolated locations on the hab. Headless corpse found in lower level. Lestrange found fleeing the scene, fired upon Donal and others. Was subdued and found babbling, see report. Subject Miley reports repeating migraines. Descarte is dispatched to explore cylinder hotzone.
5.00: Migraines and Lestrange’s affliction linked mathematically to spiral pattern. Migraines found to be caused by medichine-mediated change to pattern-recognition, language and memory centres of the brain; as well as stimulation of nociception; caused by muse having abberant map of the brain. Dimble creates treatment protocol, then forks multiple times to aid psychosurgery efforts. Descarte breaks contact, as does Dimble 14, psychosurgeon John Cumberbatch and patient Arnold Arnett missing. I’ve given my guy the package, we should be getting results soon.
6.00: Automated drone sent after Descarte. Release of information regarding potential mindhacks causes widespread panic, many attempt to flee back to the Finger. Patient Arnett found without head near cylinder hotzone, after being seen with Cumberbatch and unknown third party. Dimble reports unknown party on exploratory team’s TACNET. Now that I don’t know about. Merits investigation.
7.00: A blockade is set up to prevent people access to the Finger. Tensions rise, causing casualties on both sides, until subject Caedmon Aelmer reveals possession of nuclear device. Donal and contacts manage to de-escalate the situation, resulting in the setting up of quarantine protocols for passage on and off the Finger. Migraines largely neutralised. Descarte recovered from the core, which was found to contain antimatter generation facilities, as well as first transhumans found. This is new. We may have to re-evaluate.
There you go. Next time hold your fucking horses, mkay? I got shit to do. -xxK